Silence in the Meeting Leads to Violence in the Corridor

Why Silence Is Just as Dangerous as Violence in Meetings

Why don’t we say what we’re thinking when we’re in the middle of a team meeting?

Because we doubt that people will accept it.  Because we second-guess ourselves, wondering if maybe we’ve misunderstood something. Because we’re tired of being told that we shouldn’t talk that way.  Because we’ve tried before and been shut down. There are lots of reasons. But those reasons don't change the fact that silence in a meeting is never helpful to the company nor the company's people.

Pent up feelings and thoughts escape eventually; they have to.  But they often get vented in settings where solutions are impossible.  

Complaining to your direct reports about what happened in a leadership team meeting only creates animosity toward others on the lead team.  Your direct reports do not have the authority to fix the problem.  But they do have the opportunity to spread it.  

The right setting to talk about the concerns is with the team where you have the concerns.  Otherwise, silence in the meeting generates violence in the corridor—negative emotions, undermining accusations, politicking, venting…  

What Can You Do?

Regardless of your role on the team, speak up to make it normal and safe for concerns to be expressed and addressed.  

• “Earlier I bit my tongue and stopped sharing, but I know that this is the best time and place to express my concerns.  Please let me share…”  
• “Wait a minute.  It looks like Becky has something to say but we just cut her off.  Let’s make space for this.”  
• “I’m sorry, Mark, I interrupted you.  We all need to hear what you’re thinking.”  

These are simple examples of statements that transform silence into expression and avoid the violence that can reverberate from meetings that are supposed to create cohesion and clarity.